What does lack of sleep do to you? I get very grumpy and scatterbrained. My children have been sick with colds now for what seems like forever. That, of course, means long nights sometimes. Poor Jackson coughed so hard this morning he threw up. God.....please give us good health again. For some reason I get really "down" when my children get sick. I think maybe one reason is that I can't do anything to make them feel better. Probably another reason is that I am selfish...they are very needy...always wiping snotty noses etc., takes time. It really takes a toll on my day when Jill is always hanging on my skirt and Jackson needs his nose wiped every other minute. Right now I am trying to do a million other things. Maybe God allowed this to happen for a reason. Maybe he wants me to slow down and take time for my children. Maybe this year it's not important to do all the things that "I" want to do. Being a mother is really about laying down your life for your children. If that means no cute little plates of cookies and candy for our friends then I guess I will be OK with that. Christmas candy and cookies aren't healthy anyways (absolutely not judging anyone)(I have eaten my fair share already). That brings up another subject. Poor children in Haiti have to eat dirt, why should I scramble around buying this and that and baking like there's no tomorrow? This Holiday Season I have been having a real struggle in my mind about "stuff". Do you ever look around your house and think about how "nice" we have it. Heat and hot water and a flush toilet are extravagant in most countries. These are just things we expect. Where do you think the balance is? How do we live a simple, modest life? I don't think we have to be miserly. I love to buy gifts and give. I especially like to give things to my husband and children that I know will please them. The Yoder side of the family are not going to exchange gifts this year. My Dad's idea was to give all of the money that we would have spent on gifts to some mission or family in need. When I first heard this idea I didn't really like it because as I said before I really like to give gifts and in turn I really like when someone takes the time to pick out a gift for ME! 
I do think it's a good idea. My husband always reminds me that we need to store up treasures where neither moth nor dust doth corrupt.
This week I have really been having a hard time with city life again. I suppose it's partly due to a loss of precious sleep. It also has to do with circumstances (which I know shouldn't affect me the way they do). I have been trying to change my name from Yoder to Good for quite awhile now. I am a procrasinator to the max! Don't ask me why I didn't do it when it should have been done....namely 7 years ago right after we got married. We are flying to Guatamala in February so I am trying to update my passport with my new "Good" name and my drivers license.
I think I have my passport conquered but my license are another story. The other day I collected all of my CORRECT paperwork and headed to the license branch to become Mrs. Tonya Good on that little piece of paper. Well, the lady working the desk decided I wasn't going to be Tonya Good that day or any other day until I have a proper marriage license. Mind you I had it in my hand as legal as legal can be. Talk about frustrating....I don't know what lessons I am supposed to learn except my husband says I need to be more aggressive. I obviously was a little aggresive because she told me to calm down and calm my crying child down.....what nerve!
Anyway, this is turning into way more than I ever intended. In spite of everything I wrote on here I feel like God has given me the grace to "survive". Although, I don't think he wants us to just survive. I am grateful for his unfailing love. By the way, I hope I didn't offend anyone and it wasn't my intention to be judgemental at all! Just some things to think about.
Merry Christmas from the Goods!
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